Continued from page 1Friends of mine have two lovely birds, a clever Goffin's cockatoo and an African Grey. The Goffin's has the habit of returning to her cage to squirt thus spoiling my friends rotten by not making squirts on their sofa or clothing. She really is a great little bird. The Grey came to them at a young age and they wanted to train the bird to use similar squirting habits. At too young an age they attempted to potty train the bird and all went well until they realized that the bird would not squirt while in its cage. After a while the bird would only squirt on command. This became a real problem when they had to be away for the day or away on business. Retraining this bird was time consuming. When things weren't going well it was frightening and the bird was quite confused at all that was expected of him. Fortunately all is well and the Grey has come through it without any psychological manifestations of being anal retentive (or whatever we are calling it nowadays). The moral of this story is not to attempt to train a bird to squirt where and when you want them to until the bird is roughly two years of age. At this time the personality is strongly forming, they are more secure, and trust you to do well by them. Personally, I never suggest training the bird in this particular habit as they are not mammals with the same schedule of defecation as humans, dogs, cats, buffaloes, or what have you. When you squirt as often as birds do it can get pretty confusing and time consuming to be requested to do it on command.
Birds will also squirt for attention I've been told. Parrot behaviorist Sally Blanchard and I have had a conversation about several cockatoos that retained feces for attention and eventually prolapsed their cloacas for the attention it received by its owner! These birds we keep are very smart and will use any weapon at their disposal to get us to jump around in a panic as long as they are the center of our attention. This is the reason that I stress that you do not make faces or the "eewwww" noise every time they squirt on you. Yes, its messy and very, very warm. When something comes out of something that cooks at about 104F8f it's going to be very, very warm! And being that warm it tends to slide down whatever it hits so very, very slowly. Boy, am I getting gross here...but you know, we've all experienced it. You just gotta roll with it.
Tales abound of Macaws that will use their squirts as weapons targeted at those they are not fond of. The poor unsuspecting person passes by the cage and "squirt!" right on target! Imagine this enormous bird with its vent area against the bars of its cage with a "ready, aim, fire!" look in its eyes. Pity the poor individual that this bird harbors any grievance with. I told you they are smart. Squirts as weapons! Makes you wonder if the birds that circle overhead actually pick their targets. To this day I have never been hit by guano.
Our parrots typically will "unload" before or after flight, squirting before they take off or after they land. It is part of that "fight or flight" response that is so ingrained in them. The next time your parrot flies off the cage in fright of something you'll probably find something where it landed. I find this action very interesting, functional, and yes, another squirt to pick up. By "unloading" a parrot has less weight to carry and this makes flight more efficient. If not frightened into flight they will squirt before take-off. Calculating little critters, aren't they?
So, how do most parrot people deal with the subject of unwanted telltale signs of parrot ownership? You know what I mean, those little white-green tinged things that situate themselves at about mid-scapula on your shirt, blouse, or jacket. Those things that make perfect strangers stop you and ask, "Do you have birds?". There is a battalion of things we use to combat the weapons of parrots. Paper towels, where would we be without paper towels? I would love to kiss the hand of every person responsible for the Bounty "Select-a-Size" brand that now gives me a half sheet of paper towel rather than a whole one. It must have been pet owners that sat in the think tank on that product development! Tissues are always handy and it seems that every parrot household I visit has a box of tissues wherever the birds are allowed to roam. I never had tissues in the living room until I acquired the squirting machines that reside with me now. Blankets on the couch, sheets on the chairs, and a vast array of bath towels adorn the house when our birds are on the loose. It's just part of living with a parrot. Scrubbing it off the cage bars, chipping it off of perches, let's not forget the walls while we wonder HOW it ever got there in the first place. Squirts can defy gravity and the parrot knows this. Parrots understand their squirts and are less inhibited by these sorts of things than their human caretakers.
Has anyone ever discussed this topic in such a non-clinical manner? Usually we read articles on parrot droppings in relation to disease and general health. In that context we can readily deal with the subject matter. It's clinical, it's okay! I thought that we should have something about the psycho-social aspect of the subject and how intricately it involves us in the lives of our parrots. Please don't treat a normal, biological function of these animals as if someone has just dropped an atomic bomb on the neighborhood playground. It's really not such a tragic ordeal if your parrot squirts on you. Simply grab a tissue, wipe it off, and say, "That was a good squirt!" Foot note: If you meet someone that is entertaining the idea of acquiring a parrot and asks you the same question we've heard time and time again (ad nauseum)... "Are parrots a lot of work, messy, etc.?" Show them this article to get them started on the basic understanding of living successfully with the psittacine. If they have the nerve, they'll make wonderful caretakers for these amazing creatures.
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