Layne David Dicker
Dear Bird Clubs:Hi. How 'ya doin'?
You remember me, don'cha? Over the past several years I was one of your founding members, officers, committee chairs and one of your favorite guest speakers. Yeah, that's right. I'm that guy.
Well, B.C., in any relationship of this duration, there comes a time when everybody has to sit down and clear the air. Things build up, you know, and if we don't make this time to discuss them, they could lead to one of those nasty break ups.
Now, being the sensitive guy that I am, I won't launch right into the "corrective" portion of this communication. I'll sugar coat it a bit by saying that you are very important to aviculture and to the welfare of birds. Very important, indeed. I would have to say that most people who are genuinely concerned with the welfare of their birds either join or at least attend a meeting of a bird club at one time whereas the "toss a little seed at 'em" contingent of bird owners don't. The fact that, all across the country, groups of concerned bird nuts gather every month is wonderful and has the potential to do tremendous good for captive birds, wild birds and their environments.
And many of you are fulfilling this potential. Most of the clubs and seminars at which I have spoken actively raise money to support one excellent avian cause or another. So, a lot is being done by you, and by your members in attending outside events. These things are great. Congratulations. Keep up the good work. Love 'ya.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop? Okay, here goes: Few of you are doing all you can and some of you ain't doin' diddly squat. Before I elaborate on this, let me make a couple of things clear. First of all, I am not sitting in a glass house on this issue. I spend no less than two hours per day contributing to the lives of birds that are not my own. My own birds, I ignore. (kidding) On the other hand, I realize that I am an idiot and don't expect that most people have the desire or the two free hours to do this and, accordingly, this is not what I would expect. But we have to do more than we are doing now. Of the millions of households that keep birds, only a fraction of them ever read a word on the subject or attend a seminar or meeting. Funding for research into all matters that affect parrots is being cut when it needs to be increased. And we are losing rainforest at the rate of about an acre a second. Education, research and conservation should be the buzz words for all organizations that claim to be concerned with the welfare of birds.
Here is a suggestion for you. You know how some of you read your mission statement at the beginning of each meeting? Of course, everyone is still sitting down and they couldn't hear it even if they were listening, which they aren't. Well, do this. 1) Wait 'till everybody is listening before you read it. 2) Before you read it, ask all the guests to identify themselves, thank them for coming and explain that what they are about to hear is the mission statement, purpose, goals, raison d'etre of this club and that it is for these purposes that the club exists. 3) Read the mission statement. 4) Ask both the guests and the members (who may be hearing this for the first time as well) if they have any questions. 5) Read/discuss the existing and proposed projects directed at fulfilling these goals. Then go on with other business.
As far as "club business" goes, please keep it short and do as much as possible in Board meetings. It's boring (and if you've found a way to make it interesting, you could make a lot of money speaking at meetings of unmarried CPAs).
Let's talk about bringing birds to meetings. Personally, I've always thought that bird clubs without birds was kinda like a wine tasting without wine. This has, traditionally, been the one area of disagreement between myself and my outstanding avian vet, Dr. Frank Lavac. Lately, however, I've been shifting on this issue. Occasionally I will bring my loquacious Festive amazon, Chicken, to some of my speaking engagements. Increasingly, I find myself nervous about his being around other birds. Maybe I have just read and heard too many horror stories, but I definitely feel that greater care must be taken.
Obviously, if you're nervous about this, then don't bring your bird(s) to the meetings. As for getting cooties from other birds, how about having a bird section and a no bird section of the room and you can alswys shower when you get home. Aside from this, it boils down to common sense and courtesy. If you have a sick bird at home, either skip the meeting or shower and change clothes before coming and don't come into contact with any of the birds at the meeting. Don't bring young birds, sick birds or any bird that has not been in your care and healthy for at least six months to meetings. If you have a bird at a meeting, or any public place for that matter, make certain his wings are well clipped and don't let anybody handle him that doesn't know how to handle a bird, including the proper use of the "up" and "down" commands. So much for birds at meetings.
If you have really good food, members won't mind paying a buck or two for it. In fact, if your meeting is early (6 or 7 pm), it is very convenient to have food than can either tide someone over until they can get dinner or food that can be dinner. But serve it before the guest speaker. As good as I may be, starvation is a stronger motivator than is the desire to listen to me.
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